Snow in March & Other Tidbits

I couldn't believe it yesterday - I was writing in my (paper) journal, and I stopped a moment to think, looking out the window, at big fat snowflakes dropping in mass quantity from the sky. So wierd! It snowed some today too, and the weather forecast says it will continue (intermittently) through Sunday. This is a strange world we live in, for many reasons, including the weather.


Yes, I have started journaling (again). I have kept a journal for much of my life, typically when things are not going well. I still have many of my journals from the years, it is always interesting to read back through them to see what I thought was significant to write down or what heartache I was going through at the time. This time it is the death of my mother and the illness of my father that is my impetus for journaling. I think that this will be a good way for me to grieve and hopefully find healing.

I am also focusing on trying to eat more healthfully (not sure if that is proper grammar) and try to lose some weight. Right now I am focusing on not eating junk, trying to limit snacking, to have healthy snacks when I do snack, and to drink a lot of water. I am also focusing on keeping up on the household duties/chores, like dishes, laundry, and general picking up. We are really bad about clutter - clutter, clutter, everywhere. Once we clear the clutter, it just accumulates again. I would like to change that. At my deepest core, I am a lazy person. I have to chastise myself every time I ask Timo to do something for me that I could easily do for myself. I want to tell myself "Get up off your (bottom) and do it yourself!" As the weather gets better, I want to get out with the boys and walk a few times a week, and I also hope to do a yoga video during their morning nap a few days a week. My sister-in-law is going to email me a great website that she has used to aid her in losing 40 lbs!! Way to go SM! I'm really proud of her and I want to turn my life around. I don't want to be a lazy person anymore. Chasing around my two 16 month old boys just isn't going to be enough, especially when I have the fridge at my beck and call 24-hours a day, 7 days a week. I would love to get into shape where I could start playing volleyball again, and maybe even go snowboarding next season.

Timo and I have always been self-portrait artists. Most all of our self-portraits were taken during positive, happy times. But, I think that we should mark sad events, too. I thought it fitting to take a self-portrait to mark my mom's passing. We took this picture the day of her viewing.

And how could I end a post without posting pictures of my boys? Here they are during their very first Easter egg hunt, on Saturday before Easter, at our apartment complex.

A lot has happened in 2 months.. update

This is my mother's casket being lowered into the ground. She had a stroke and did not recover. Her internal carotid arteries were blocked 70% and 99% (then 100%). She deteriorated quickly, and passed from this earth on Monday, March 10, 2008. We buried her last Thursday.

In the month preceeding my mom's death, my dad was hospitalized for two weeks, during which time we found out that he has a disease called myelodysplasia syndrome(MDS), bordering on conversion to AML (leukemia). He was home for about 2 weeks, and now he is in the hospital again after suffering a 104 degree temp and flu like symptoms. We don't know how long he will be in the hospital this time, or how long he will be with us overall. He is currently undergoing treatment for the MDS but we won't know if it is at all effective for at least another month.

How am I dealing with all of this? As well as could be expected, I suppose. It is a difficult time balancing between spending enough time with my family (Timo & my boys) and also spending time with my ailing parents (now just my dad). Timo has been great through this all, and I expect he will continue to be great. We really need prayer, though.

It's late, and I need to go to bed. Here's a picture to lighten things up a little bit, though.

Happy St. Patrick's Day.