After months of rocking, bouncing, shushing, nursing, etc. to get the boys to sleep (or back to sleep in the middle of the night), taking hours on end at times, we finally broke down and said "I can't do this anymore" and we are letting the boys cry it out (CIO).
Now, for those of you who feel strongly against CIO let me just say now that I don't want to hear it.
The first time was in the middle of the night, both Timo and I had been rocking and shushing a boy for an hour or more. We were both very tired and simply had to put them in their cribs. They had been nursed, changed, temp in the room was good ,etc. They just didn't know how to fall asleep. Ray cried for longer than I know, cause I finally fell asleep. Dario only cried a little.
The next night we put them to bed (after their nightly routine), Ray cried for 45 min, boy was that hard. Again, Dario cried for much less time, but we always knew he wouldn't have as much trouble as Ray because Ray seems more dependent on me in general.
Now, most nights, they hardly cry at all going down to bed. My MIL was here the first weekend when we "gave up" two weeks ago, and was the one who went to check on them that first night of CIO, and found Ray sleeping slumped in an upright position at the end of his crib facing the door. That was heartbreaking and hilariously funny at the same time. Now, she thinks I've traded my boys in for new babies, because they went down so easily this weekend.
But there are still times that I struggle with myself, trying to decide, do I go in there? Do I soothe him, reassure him? Sometimes I do, sometimes I don't. If I know his basic needs are met (fresh diaper, warm milk in belly, good temp room, clean bed, comfort blankie ready at hand) I'm most likely to let him figure it out on his own. The "he" I'm talking about here is Ray. Because like I said, Dario hardly makes a peep anymore either going down to bed, or back down after a middle of the night waking. But Ray is my Mommy's boy, for better or worse, and I love him for it - but I also ache at his apparent heartbreak at having to be apart from me to sleep.
But I feel really liberated and I get a lot more sleep now since we made this decision. And, it's crucial with me going back to work a few days a week, working evening shifts. Timo will have to put them to bed by himself, and he never could have managed it alone before.
skip to main |
skip to sidebar
No longer simply ME but my whole family.
2 comments:
wow, i can't believe you've lasted this long rocking, shushing, etc. i let N sleep on his own starting 9 wks, and he did great. then around 5 month mark, he was looking for us and crying during night-time waking. at first, giving him the binkie was enough. and then, it started to get worse and worse, where i finally said, i need to train him. he cried for 1.5 hrs on and off, but no more crying. i'm a firm believer now of the CIO method. i think you end up doing the babies a disservice by not allowing them to learn to fall back to sleep. so, kudos to you, mama! but yeah, it's really hard though. every now and then, N will have his days when he'll wake me up, and i always wish i had a little machine to tell me whether or not he soiled his diaper. unfortunately, i can't quite tell from his cries... feel so guilty about that sometimes, but anyway... long comment. :)
i'm glad that the boys are getting better, and that you're getting more sleep. sleep is soooooo important. :) i had to smile picturing little ray sleeping sitting up in the corner.
I'm a HUGE fan of CIO especially in the middle of the night! They have to learn to do soothe themselves, right?
Post a Comment